So...

You can't understand my tears

though you're the creator of my fears...

So perfect

and so cruel

Shall I deny passion?

Or accept myself as a fool...

In so many words

You've told me no

I don't accept this

So?

You push me away

I deserve someone better

better yet, the best...

I'm waking up for tomorrow

as you continue to rest

that child is your biggest fan

and you can't see

you're so far from being a man

Yet I can't let you go

not just yet...

So?

I run through your pictures

scream your name in street

and you may not think of me for weeks

when the box of tissues run low

and your love sucks my ocean dry

I'm fighting for what you wont try...

It's explosive

The youth in you may never let me grow

though they beg me to let go

So?

Holes

There's a trap door in your bedroom.

I'm going to find it.

There's window in your living room.

I'm hoping to climb out of it.

There's a porch on the first floor of your two story home.

I'm going to jump it.

When you open your eyes at the crack of dawn...

don't bother looking

I'll be gone.

I think about you on my walk alone

I think about you on my drive home

When will I see you again?

Could it be months, years?

But I can't think that way

You're not here to stay

But we both know, I can't hold my breath for long

Only takes my leftover footprints for you to catch on

How far can a quarter tank of gas take me?

Why continue to try?

My legs are tired, throat is dry

Guess I figure if I run away far enough

You wont be able to catch up.

Dummy

I'm ill.

I'm foolish.

I run into walls, hit corners and drop off planks.

I keep doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome.

I am insane.

You're a drug. The entire world tells me to stay away. I should listen to them, shouldn't I?

You're all wrong for me. You go backward as I move forward.

You want to crush my love. I want to dish out more.

Good morning, can't you smell the coffee and feel the heartbreak?

I lose myself in you.

I'm a worm on your hook. Don't cast me away.

I promised them I'd stay away. I promised myself.

Tunnel vision rules my world.

I'm a sad girl. How much more can I take?

You call. I answer.

You ask. I say yes.

We're not even a we.

How much of a dummy can I be?

Take the hint.

Get a clue.

As the years pass by...

I'm still stuck like glue.

And you'll never really know.

No matter how many times I've told you so...

That I hold all my love for you.

To the bare bottom of my soul

I'm sorry to all the joe schmoes 

I can't explain how deep this goes

I'm a silly girl

I may never learn

I may never win

I'll slump outside your door

Waiting for your return

Crying on your floor

Let me drive up your street

They may take me away...

And that's perfectly ok

For a moment, my life was complete

Look what you've done to me

Insanity has become my normalcy.

Here it is

Eyes are teary

My nose is runny

Suits me well

I'm just a dummy.

Let it happen

If ever a place bad luck could be
let it find me
I'll miss the train and fall to my knees
but it's quite alright
my efforts are caught in a freeze
If ever a time I meet destiny
it shall be taken away
I'll have fewer words
For my thoughts will know what to say
Keep taking my gold
rob me blind
make it simple, let me unfold
They chipped my heart
this dust pan is full
let heartbreak end, only to start
If the waves become stronger in my lonely sea
I'll escape drowning from the hope within me
Thousands of black clouds continue
at the mere age of twenty three
I'll swallow the madness
Let it happen to me
In the great and far distance
Your love awaits
Behind black sheep and clouds of torture
Time will set us free
I'm ready for the next bow and arrow
Eventually I'll use up the rain
Sunshine is no enemy
If ever a place bad luck could be
We'll be together someday
So,
let it happen to me...

I'll help you with your suitcase

Maybe some people can't move on. Perhaps some of us can't let go. Far away in the distance is where I've been standing. I'm waving to you. This time, not for your bed ridden love - only to say goodbye. Are we doing this again? One final cry. You dominate my dreams, swarm daily thoughts...I need to ash this final cigarette. God do I love you. Why? I'm not sure, but, I'm losing. My hands were on the wheel - the dust I left behind said goodbye. I waited for your phone call. I love being in love alone. You always come back, don't you? Yes. Once again, I forgive - you make promises that you want to be a part of my life. Foolish me. I hate when you go. I've mastered the art of driving away, ignoring your calls and blocking you from all important social networks. If the milk is spoiled, you dump it down the sink, if the music is booming, turn it off so you can think. Those tasks are simple. Once you fall off the cliff, there's no climbing back up. I must have hit a branch along the way. I see you when I shut my eyes. The thing is, I can't run away from my memory. Sometimes I want to dial your number just to hear your breath on the other line. I find sanity in my friends, co-workers hold me together, I run through sunny weather, my mother makes me better - I'm always clear when things become hazy but, you sprinkled pixie dust in my coffee. I'm becoming crazy. I've already screamed my heart out to you, sent kisses, long embraces, on my knees...face in my hands, on my feet, in the middle of the street, cried to your friends - and poured it all out again when you wanted to make amends. You say what I long to hear. You always get what you want dear. I wish I could do the same. I could live in Paris and you'd still be near. Before me and after me, none of them will ever love you the way that I do. It's not like I asked for this, if I could erase you forever; if a pill could wash you away - I'd do it. I will find a loving man someday. I just hope he doesn't have your face when my father gives me away...

Hear me out

It has to happen. It has to. How can I finish this beautiful story if it doesn't? Promise that you'll give me a good story.

I'm tired of school work...I just want to sit on my couch every night with a glass of wine writing free spirited poems. Why does the world have to be so technical?

Fall

Fall in love...
alone
fall in love...
on your own
fall in love...
on a Monday
fall in love...
driving down a one way
fall in love...
in the dark
fall in love...
lost in the park
fall in love...
in your mind

fall in love...
one step behind
fall in love...
not just on a Monday
fall in love...
Tuesday
fall in love...
Wednesday
fall in love...
oh hell, every day
fall in love...
on your last breath
fall in love...
when there's nothing left
fall in love...
with yourself
but...I...have...to
fall in love...
to fall out of it